Silas Marner - Redemption

Redemption. That's what I would like to call a suitable title for this story. Instead of Silas Marner.


My first reading of George Eliott's works. I had the choice of picking to read between Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, George Eliott and R L Stevenson. Silas Marner - a hard bound book left untouched by the current generation and remained intact, very much, along with it preserving the smell of Carbon black pigment ink. I also realised that George Eliot was a Mary Ann Evans, thanks to ___ for enlightening me. Did I need any more motivation to make a choice? Familiarity to ___ simply meant, the choice was already made.



For some days procrastination had set in against my reading this book and so I managed to read 30 pages in as many days. Such was my interest. But, sometimes, life leaves you with no choice but to have adequate gumption and get on with some tasks. And so I decided to....


The story begins with a brief narration about Silas Marner and his past. A religious weaver and a man hit by every kind of misfortune in his life. Pushed to the boundaries of misery, desolation and destitution. As if all this wasn't enough, Silas is also wrongly hit by allegations of theft. The antagonist, in this case, his own acquaintance. The very same acquaintance went on to marry the very woman who was to marry Silas.


He moves places, far from such precincts to a place where he's regarded as weird and a nobody. Misfortune doesn't spare him there too. This time his long, hard acquired wealth gets stolen. Any normal human being would feel the heat of the whole world cunningly conspiring against him without offering retributions. However, Silas is determined to be different.
.....
And what transpires from here on, is a bit Dickens like. Although in a pensive Dickens tone. It so happens that providence would bring a Golden haired Eppie, as an orphaned baby, into Silas's life. Silas sees Eppie as his very own daughter, showers her with utmost love and affection, and even names her Eppie, after his very own mother. Over time, there comes a stage when, the origins of Eppie gets to be known to the antoganists who have now turned over. It would also mean that Eppie would have to make a tough decision between living with her biological father against the resolutely ever loving Silas, whose life devoid of any meaning once has something to hold on to and look forward to in life, in the form of Eppie.


As I said earlier, the book is Dickens like. Naturally, Eppie decides to stay on with Silas and gets married to a local town boy. A typical fairy tale ending about a person who faces an unfair amount of devastation in his life.


Having read the book, it gave me a deep sense of satisfaction, relief and redemption that Love is the biggest conqueror on earth. A story mired in the middle of 19th century by George Eliot simply reinforced in me the potential of Love and what it can to do one's life. Whether you have something to look forward to or not, Love conquers and gives you something to cling to.

I told myself, don't lose it.

George Eliot, despite me knowing this, I now know you realised this centuries back.

My theory on car driving

First of all, I am no relationship expert. My understanding is all about my perception, my immediate reaction and toned down / mellowed down reaction that may or may not be different to my initial reaction.

Any relationship needs constant nurturing. Constant giving and taking. And regular role reversals. While mistrust is a known killer, a sign of desperation gets seen as controlling, overbearing, insecure and also lacking in trust. I do not wish to mark myself against the scale on these factors. It is upto others to mark me, if they wanted to.

Moreover, the complexity can not alone be compounded by the presence of ___ and also by ___, but also by other geospatial aspects. Obviously, quite a few things are not possible regularly, agreed. Giving and taking then simply takes a back seat. And which kicks in a chain reaction causing more desperation. Again, the enhanced desperation only leads to enhanced perceptions of above negatives.

Trust is something that is always built over time. It has been built. Voluntarily, and sometimes forcibly too. Likewise, complexity of issues can tinge something to appear as a different shade. As insecurity, desperation etc.,.

I equally understand that nobody is an expert in these topics, situations and also in day-day developments. A better approach would be to understand each other better, step into their shoes too and ask direct questions as what would help make it better. Most times demands may be impossible. Sometimes it may. But asking itself is the first step towards understanding. Making a concerted effort towards flexing a little bit towards taking a valuable relationship ahead or even sustaining it.

Much of these complex dimensions may not matter or even figure when some of the influencing factors are taken out. But what is important is reaching out. Reaching out to understand.

Contrary to common philosophy "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", my guess is that "In relationships, when the going gets tough, it needs even more fuel to keep it going".

Its like driving a car with the engine constantly misfiring (and only burning fewer cylinders) and at the same time with a hole in the gas tank. And that's when you dont want to give a kick at the gas tank. Atleast a car could be parked for a while - relationship cannot.

So when I am down, low and out, please don't kick me in the butt for my rash driving. Please. Please. Yes, once more, please.

Save your kicks for my rash driving for a happy day. After all, if I have done wrong, I need to be kicked too. I also hope this is not a sign for weakness, insecurity or desperation. As I said, I don't want to kick the gas tank. Rather, I am merely getting down from the car to keep it running by giving a push from behind. Even if the engine isnt running.

All I need is for the car to run, albeit slowly atleast.